Waxing Philosophical on the Struggle for Social Balance Between Man and Woman -Part 1

This is just a small introduction to what I plan on being an ongoing philosophical, spiritual, and sociological pondering on the struggle for social equity between men and women, both historical and current. Many of my theories and suppositions come from my own understanding of various sources within the social sciences, religion, and history as it relates. I don't pretend to be seeking or discovering ground breaking enlightenment here. I'm just getting these thoughts, these ramblings in my head, into some cohesive text. I've been trying since I was a child to solve the cognitive dissonance created by the combination of a Catholic upbringing (of which I was a devout practitioner until 16), a conservative father, and a very strong sense of independence that told me women were equal to men. After 40 years these musings are crowded and need air. 
If anyone has suggestions for my further reading and study, please feel free to share them in the comments. I would also like to hear male points of view. I may be very familiar with male thinking and have many male friends, but I can't possible put myself entirely in their shoes. I lack the proper equipment. 
All comments must remain respectful. If I read a comment and find I am consumed with the overwhelming urge to back hand or otherwise do violence to the author, it is likely that the post was offensive and will be removed (for the protection of the author or course). I have no problem with differences of opinion, but I won't put up with small minded fundamentalist ravings. 

Why Do Men Seek to Dominate Women and Why Do Women Allow It?

Introduction:

This is a question or set of questions which I continually come back to. When I become outraged I try to understand. In the end I always come to the same conclusion. I feel sorry for the man that seeks to dominate. I feel badly that the mother in his life did not take her sacred duty seriously or was ignorant of the power she was entrusted with. Some may feel that thinking is harsh, but there is great and sacred power that women hold and so often neglect or are ignorant of. We can teach our sons to respect all women, the vessel of life. We can help them understand the relationship between life and death. We can teach them to be better, without emasculating them. 

There are many instances where subjugation of women is so complete within the familial, religious, or social structure that women do not have any right to teach their sons after they leave the breast. This is a tragedy. These social units are often marked by brutal and constant struggle. However, there are many women with no such restrictions that have not taken hold of the power they possess to shape the men of our society and to teach them about life and death and their relationship to it. That too is a great tragedy. 

When I had a son I knew a sacred trust had been bestowed upon me. I was responsible for shaping the man he would become and what he would contribute to society. My job was to teach him about the balance of nature. His father taught him what it meant to be a good man and I taught him what it meant to be a good human being. 

The social condition and natural order:

I have studied anthropology, religion, psychology, and philosophy and it all points to one ultimate unifying truth. Women create life. All those who seek to control women, seek to control life and somehow cheat death. It all comes down to the struggle between life and death. Death is to some a terrifying mystery; an inevitable end.  For others death is the same as birth; two sides to the same miracle. They occupy the same space.

A dysfunctional social dominance between men and women is the result of a social or religious structure that has a dysfunctional relationship with death.

~That's a teaser.  I will post more as soon as I have finished deciphering more of my stream of conscience scrawling. Please share your thoughts on this first snippet.

Religion and Marriage Equality

This was my response to comments in another blog about marriage equality. After posting it I thought it was worth republishing here. It's long for a blog response, but there were others that were much more verbose.
As you can imagine, a debate began on that other blog that started with someone quoting the bible and someone else quoting other passages that are ridiculously outdated to illustrate that we can not be expected to live our lives to the letter of the bible. I'm sure you have all seen these arguments played out over and over with little difference from one site to another.  My response goes into my personal beliefs, ( have they're gong to share theirs I'm gong to share mine) but most importantly what I believe to be the only valid argument in this debate and you either believe in these freedoms or you don't. Plain and simple.

I have many Christian and very devout Catholic friends. I am neither. I have made it very clear to them that I believe in secular salvation through a philosophy of Love. We agree to respect each other’s beliefs and move on. They also understand that my issue is not with Christianity. It is with those so tied to the dogma of their religion (any religion) that they are determination to try and make me live by a set of codes that belong to a religion I do not believe in and a text I refuse to see as more worthy than any other work written by prophets and philosophers. And since those books are being quoted here I feel I can share my opinion of them. I believe that they were written by human beings and are dated and flawed. The Old Testament was written as a social code by men and proclaimed to be of God (with the best intentions, I'm sure). The New Testament was written by the followers of a man I believe to have been a great spiritual teacher and social activist who was martyred because he preached the ideal of economic equality and to show love, respect, and forgiveness to all regardless of their place in society. Another great prophet of recent times was murdered for preaching the same things, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 

I do not need a religion or bible to make me behave, and live a good life. I try to live a good life because I love my fellow human beings and because I want to leave a legacy of love for my child and his children to pass down. I do have a religious doctrine I live by. It is the doctrine of the Unitarian Universalist church. Their main doctrine is to love and respect all human beings. In this country I am guaranteed the right to live by those principles without limit of opportunity, without discrimination, and without the limiting of my religious practice. When another faith tries to limit my freedoms by their religious beliefs because they think theirs is the only right religion it is unconstitutional and un-American. As society evolves, our freedoms must evolve with it. Our society is more accepting of same sex marriage because a large number of people have come to accept that love is love even if some may still be a little uncomfortable with the public display of same sex affection due to a lifetime of social programing. I know men ( and some women too) who do believe in marriage equality on principle, but still can't bring themselves to watch Brokeback Mountain or look uncomfortable when they see same sex couples kiss in public. It's okay. I get it. They are try to evolve beyond their programing and I give them a lot of credit for stepping out of their comfort zone for what is right. So as our society evolves so must our law of the land that governs our freedoms. 

To those who are upset by this, you can kick and scream all you want if your religion says it’s wrong, but mine says it’s okay and no one is forcing you to marry or live against your beliefs. Keep your own house (soul) in order and worry not about mine. We all need to learn to peacefully live our own lives by our own truths in a nation that recognizes our right to do so.

We Are Stardust

They say the best songs write themselves. This one wrote itself in an hour. The seed happened in the car at 8am. Thanks to my iPhone voice to text dictation feature the seed was captured and emailed to me. I walked in to work and at 8:30am opened word and dropped the seed into the document and began writing. At 9:30am I proofread and formatted the song and here it is.

I haven't written a single lyric in two years. 
(proof that every dry spell ends)

This is for everyone who doesn't feel they fit. I was thinking how we are all made of the same stuff. That we are made of stuff from the stars, the heavens, whatever you believe. So we all fit. We all belong somewhere with someone but we have to believe it to see it.

Someone shared this video with me a while back.
http://youtu.be/8g4d-rnhuSg

Obviously it planted a seed.

Here is the tree. 

(I used the title of my inspiration. It doesn't seem to be copyrighted anywhere. Please let me know if it is and site source.)

WE ARE STARDUST

You live your life like a misfit toy

On an island broken and ignored

Hiding scars from vocal blows

Private pain of indignities endured

All you want is looooove, love, love, love, love

Chorus

We all have a little brokenness inside

Something that doesn’t fit

Something that we hide

But we’re all made of stardust, baby

Stardust

Made of stardust

Stardust

You are made of stardust

Shine

You’ve been bullied and terrorized

Hear the whispers, feel the torture

The loneliness is suffocating

Man on TV calls you freak of nature

All you want is looooove love love love love

We all have a little brokenness inside

Something that doesn’t fit

Something that we hide

But we’re all made of stardust baby

Stardust

Made of stardust

Stardust

You are made of stardust

Shine

That pretty face hides a secret shame

Imperfection is all you see

People tell you you’re wonderful

But you know a fraud is all you'll every be (build and continue into bridge)

So you take the beatings

You deserve it

You believe him when he says

that you're just a piece of shit

Well don't believe it! 

What you really are is loooooove looooove loooove looooove

We all have a little brokenness inside

Something that doesn’t fit

Something that we hide

But we’re all made of stardust baby

Stardust

Made of stardust

Stardust

You are made of stardust

Shine

Shine, shine shine shine

We are stardust

We are stardust

Shine shine shine shine shine

We are stardust

You are stardust

shine

Lyrics by Lisa Blayney - created and published June 11, 2013

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