Working diligently towards a goal and achieving that goal should be it’s own reward, both in the journey and in the achievement. In the journey, one learns a great deal about themselves and the achievement bolsters self confidence and, of course, the benefits of the particular goal. The key to actually achieving the goal is motivation. There are many ideas and theories concerning this concept. The bookshelves are full of advise on motivation. However, how practical is it really? Don’t we ultimately need to find it in our own way for it be effective?
We all have our own natural mode when it comes to motivation. Some people are able to find it from within, springing into action by the power of their own inspiration to do or achieve something, or change something they find to be flawed in their life or character. Others are motivated to achieve something they previously did not think possible, either by the achievements of someone they relate to and admire, or the encouragement of someone who believes in them. Then there are those that are motivated by the need for change as a last resort such as failing health, incarceration, decline of personal relationships, pain, confrontation, etc. Outside force seems to be the most common and powerful motivation. I call this the Do or Die method.
In my weight loss journey I discovered something very important about what naturally motivates me. I am often very aware of what I desire to achieve, or what I need to change, and feel some motivation in that self-awareness. However, the motivation that actually gets me to the finish line is an outside force, something that brings me to the Do or Die point. Another motivational force for me is vanity, but it does not seem to have the same power it once did. As I get older, I care less what others think of me. Pain, whether emotional or physical, is a very powerful motivator and apparently the main one for me.
The combination of vanity and pain is what finally motivated me to lose the weight that I had been struggling with for 4 years. I would get close, but then my desire to self medicate with food would overwhelm my desire to lose the weight. Weight loss is about changing the lifestyle that caused you to gain it in the first place. That lifestyle usually has some sort of payoff and mine was comfort when I was in physical or emotional pain. The combination of vanity and the desire to be healthy and have a good quality of life came close to outweighing my need to eat my pain, but in the end would give way in the winter to my old habits. Ironically it was my need to look like (and feel like) the old me for my son’s wedding and have him proud of his mom that made me absolutely determined. I had lots of motivation and energy to give me a great start, but it turned out to be the alleviation of pain due to the new lifestyle that finally out weighed the urge to comfort myself with food.
No that I have reached the goal, I feel a sense of accomplishment and a desire to see what else I can apply this knowledge to. I feel the next area of my life that needs an overhaul is my spiritual life. I have found wonderful tools and moments of clarity in this area, but like other things, have lost motivation as I get further away from the initial source of inspiration. Now I know that I must look at the reality of what motivates me best and find a way to initiate that on my own. I would rather not look to the Do or Die moment to be inspired. Do or Die moments in relation to spirituality are usually highly unpleasant and I would prefer not to require that sort of scenario from the universe so as to make this change.
It would be an achievement in and of itself to reshape my natural motivational tendency to that of a more productive and dynamic one. Or I could continue to invite disaster into my life by continuing in the Do or Die method. The payoff of making this major change in my modus operandi seems very obvious and attractive. However, the question remains,
what’s my motivation?
